Undaunted

   "Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are impotent to touch the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

   It seems my thoughts over these past few days all have to do with going back into prison. I am not fearful of anything external when I go into that place, but always a little afraid of not living up to what God expects of me while I am there. There is a fear of saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, or of not being ready to do the right thing. Afraid that these lapses of word, deed or judgment might cause one of the new Kairos inmates to receive the wrong impression of who God is or how He wants to relate to them.

   I thought a lot about this the first time I went in, and still think of it somewhat each and every time. I know I will not be at my best for Him if I think I can do everything just right without any help. At that point a little fear, maybe just not the crippling kind, can be healthy. I know I can mess up at any time, but I also know that Romans 8:37 still holds true; "in all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us".

   When I look back on past experiences on these walks, I can see how God has worked in the lives of the men in spite of me. He will cause those guys to see Him as He wants to. His will will not be thwarted and all of it is in His hands. To me this is confirmation of my role, which is to show up and be available.

   My prayer is that those 42 inmates will come face to face with the living God and that I will be faithful to do the task He puts in front of me.