Apison, Tennessee

   Earlier this week, a series of tornadoes touched down all over the south. We even had a warning here on the coast of Georgia where we live.

   One of the more deadly ones caused widespread damage and at least 8 fatalities in the small community of Apison Tennessee, east of Chattanooga. We lived there from 1978 to 1995 and raised our kids there.

   The closeness of it all came home to me as I read the locations that were mentioned on the news reports. We lived on McGhee Rd, we ran on Clonts Road, we biked on Loundon Lane and Bill Jones Road. One of the persons interviewed for a news report out of Chattanooga was Ronnie Sedman, who was our neighbor just east of us on McGhee.

   We have been gone for 15 years, so how should I feel about all of this? Relief that our family was not there? Sorrow for those whose lives are gone or changed drastically?

   How should we see the hand of God in all of this? God was not surprised that all of this happened. He is still in control. This is easier to say when we are many miles away, but, I'm sure, much harder to process when we are in the middle of it. It is also much easier to say that some good will no doubt come out of this tragedy, when we are not directly affected.

   God is in control of the past, present and the future. Hard to see sometimes, but true nevertheless.

   God, help me to trust in the rightness of your acts.

The Good Side of Uncertainty

   "Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere." (Oswald Chambers)

   Today I go off to do a bit of substitute teaching at the local Christian school. There is always a bit of uncertainty in this assignment. I know the teacher I will be replacing for the day, and I know what subject she teaches, but, as to the lessons of the day, I am in the dark.

   So how do I approach the day? Somehow I think that my attitude can either make or break the day. I cannot know for certain how each period will work out, and I cannot picture in my mind what exactly will happen. I only know that I got a call to help one day in the past and that I accepted.

   My attitude can be dread or anticipation. I can look for why God chose to put me in this place on this particular day, or I can hang on until 3PM. Uncertainty can be either liberating or confining.

   I believe I will choose to anticipate what God will show me today, even in this situation.

   Stay tuned in....

Could I Possibly Trust?

   "When you do get through to abandonment to God, you will be the most surprised and delighted creature on earth; God has got you absolutely and has given you your life. If you are not there, it is either because of disobedience or a refusal to be simple enough." (Oswald Chambers)

   Abandonment to God is to trust Him fully in every area of my life. I know I am not there, because I can see it in several areas.

   One of the major things in a life of retirement is money, and the main question seems to be, "will I outlive my finances?". So I plan and calculate how much I need to have saved so that Mayre Lou and I will be able to live, and enough for her when I am gone.

   This is not all bad I know, but I also realize that I want to live like I am doing now, with enough to enjoy our time in these years ahead, however many they might be. Then I think about how much we have saved and know that we could do a lot of things with it rather than spend it on ourselves.

   Do I believe God when He promises to take care of those who put their faith in Him? Do I really believe that? I say I trust God, but, if I do, why don't I live like it?

   The Bible teaches that God owns it all, and that I am just a steward of what He has entrusted to me. Am I guilty of taking my talent and hiding it in the ground?

   All of my questions seem rhetorical, I know the answers, I just have a hard time getting them from my brain to my heart.

   Can I really trust God? Can I abandon my plans for a promise?

   Oh, that I could and would.

More Questions

   "Are you seeking great things for yourself? Not seeking to be a great one, but seeking great things from God for yourself. God wants you in a closer relationship to Himself than receiving His gifts, He wants you to get to know Him. A great thing is accidental, it comes and goes. God never gives us anything accidental. There is nothing easier than getting into a right relationship with God except when it is not God Whom you want but only what He gives." (Oswald Chambers)

   It seems like that getting to know God and having an intimate personal relationship with Him, is also a gift from Him. So if this is what I sincerely seek, how do I not ask Him for it?

   If this is also what God wants, will He not honor my request?

   Can I help to make this happen by my study, or my meditation, or my deeds, or my whatever, or is it God's timetable and will that control this relationship and how deep it goes?

   I look into my heart and believe that my motives are right. I do not want this relationship for personal greatness, or spiritual posturing, or even self confidence in how God sees me. I see the benefits of this, but am not looking for just these gifts.

   Most all of my Christian life, I have heard it said that God not only wanted to save me, but He wanted to have this relationship with me. It would seem right for me to want to have that also. There is an incompleteness that I feel when I hear folks talk about it.

   So, what do I do now, if anything? Do I wait for God or strive on my own?

   Does anyone else have these questions?

   When I feel the need for answers, I get more questions......Help

Traditions

   "If we obey what God says according to our sincere belief, God will break us from those traditions that misrepresent Him." (Oswald Chambers)

   Traditions that misrepresent God. What would those include? I would think that would be anything that I believed, from whatever source, about God, that was not exactly right. It could be something that I misinterpreted from Scripture. It could be something that I had been taught, even in church.

   So, according to the reading this morning, I need to obey God, according to my sincere belief. But my beliefs may be sincere, and sincerely wrong. I can be following those traditions that misrepresent God, so how am I to know?

   Beware of following any mere man, no matter his credentials. Even Oswald Chambers can be wrong, and I believe he would tell us not to follow what he says, but to look only to God for wisdom.

   I use Oswald as a starting point to think about what God is trying to teach me on a particular day, but I do not make him the end all. The words of any day's reading are a springboard to get me to ponder, and to reflect on what God wants to reveal now.

   In myself, I would like for someone to be so close to God, and to know Him so intimately, so that he could write a book that would tell me how to live to please God and to know Him. Then I could buy the book and follow it and know that I was OK. Gone would be the pondering, the meditating, and the contemplations, and I could check my mind and heart at the door and follow the script.

   But, alas, that is not the way, and, in reality, that is not really what I desire. What I want to do is to be a friend of God, like Abraham, to hear and obey from the source of all Truth. I need a book to go by, for sure, but that book is already in my hand, and it was not written by a mere man.

   Oh, God, break me from those traditions that misrepresent you.

Yesterday....Today

   Easter was a great day. People were dressed up, smiling, and all was right with the world. Death had been defeated, and hope was on the throne.

   Churches were full, families were together...let the celebrations begin and continue all the day on.

   But then I got up this morning thinking about the things I had on my schedule for today, and the thought hit me.."Will my life be any different today because of what I celebrated yesterday?"

   I am tempted to ask, as I see double the crowds coming into church on Easter, will it really make any difference to a lot of these folk on Monday, that Christ is actually risen. Then I realize that it is not those people that I need to be concerned about on this issue, will it make any real difference to me?

   I am playing in a fund raising golf event this afternoon. Will the others around me see me in the light of the resurrection? Will the meaning of Easter carry over into the world of my activities on a daily basis, or will I just pack up the Easter narrative with the plastic eggs and wait to get it out again next Spring?

   Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I have contemplated the true meaning of Easter again this morning, now let me live in the light of it all day long, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.........

   Thank you God for Easter. May it live in my life today.

Remember and Be Glad

   Today we rejoice in what God has done for us and for all mankind. Jesus has risen from the grave, after 3 days, and is alive today, working in the hearts and lives of people everywhere.

   Thanks be to God.

   Christians will gather today, in sunrise services, in churches, big and small, and as family groups, happy to be able to worship and fellowship with each other.

   When our family does get together, which is not often enough, someone will invariably ask the question, "Remember when...?".

   Then the fun stories come out.

   A couple of memories come to mind as I think of the Easters I have celebrated over the years. Probably more will surface as the day wears on.

   When I was a kid, back in the early 1700s probably, we had snow on Easter. Six inches, I believe, so we could not hide the brightly dyed eggs outside as was our custom. So we talked our parents into hiding them inside the house. It was great fun, hiding and rehiding them all afternoon, until it was time to devil them for supper. One problem, we forgot to count how many we hid. Several days later, we found the rest by following the delightful sulfur odor to their resting places. Needless to say, we did not get to hide them inside again, but it didn't snow again either.

   When Mayre and I lived in Apison, our church in Ooltewah, had a sunrise Easter service. We gathered at the church early on Easter morning and walked about a mile to the cemetery located atop a hill overlooking the area. There we worshiped while watching the sun break over the horizon. It was a very meaningful time, and it was a happy bunch that walked back to the church when it was over.

   Easter is a "remembering time". Some memories may be funny and some meaningful, but the greatest "remember" is the reason for the celebration. God gave His only Son for us and punctuated the sacrifice by the Resurrection on Sunday. That is a reason to celebrate big time.

   Remember and be glad.

Work as unto.....

   "We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for. God engineers everything; wherever He puts us our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to Him in that particular work. "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.""(Oswald Chambers)

   Many times I have taken on some job or position at church for the wrong reason. Maybe it was a job that could not find a willing worker, maybe it was a convenience, maybe a duty, and maybe to look good working. "Someone needs to do this, and no one else seems willing, so I will just do it myself. How much better it would be for all if each person in the church simply listened to the call of God and exercised his or her own spiritual gifts.

   But my only responsibilities are to stay close enough to God, to actually hear the call, and to obey. God holds me accountable for me and not for "everyone else".

   Does that preclude me from helping out where needed or being available when a tight spot comes along? No, of course not, that may also be hearing a call from Him. Opportunities for Christian service abound for one that has open eyes and heart.

   Doing everything with the mindset of "I don't care who gets the credit and God gets the glory" works every time.

   Do everything as unto the Lord. He knows and He cares.

Papa, can we?

   Oswald has taken a back seat this week. Our Virginia daughter-in-law, Dawn, and the three grand children have been here since Monday, and that tells the tale. A ten year old, an eight and a six are a delight, but they do consume some time, and when you get old, the time after they get to bed is not the time to contemplate the inner workings of his mind. Sorry.

   The last few days have been filled with certain questions: Papa, can we?. Papa will you...with me?, Papa when can we? I could also substitute Granny Lou in any of these questions. When there are three kids those ages on vacation, there are never enough grown-ups to go around.

   But it has been fun, and we have played a lot. Golf with Drew has been an everyday experience. They got here on Monday afternoon, and the the first thing we did was walk nine holes. Then there was Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and I'm sure that if he could have talked his mother into leaving around nine AM, we would have been on the course before the mowers this morning.

   Study time has been non existent, and prayer time mostly consists of a hurried "Thanks for this day, and help us to get enough sleep to do it again tomorrow". Would I trade it in for anything? No Way. I love these kids and only regret that we don't see them more often.

   Could it be possible that God sees me in the same way. I may wear Him out with my "can we?, will You? when can we?" questions, but I also know that His love for me is far greater than mine for mine. His regret could be that I don't give Him the time that is available for fellowship. No mileage separates us, other than those that I put between.

   Let me use my time wisely.

Weak Strength

   "The Bible characters fell on their strong points, never on their weak ones." (Oswald Chambers)

   Why is it that our strengths cause us to fail? I say, "I know that I can do this job, I have done it many times before, and people around me say that this strength is my gift". Could it be that I am prone to listen to what people say, especially if I want to pat myself on the back? Oh, the self pride in all of that.

   I can be doing a job that brings glory to God and all of a sudden start to believe my press clippings, and it is all out the window. My strengths turn into weakness as my clay feet are exposed. Pride rears its ugly head again.

   Is the solution to this problem area never to accept any place of leadership? That is pretty drastic, maybe it would just be good not to take a place that I know I can do on my own. If I need to depend on the strength of God to get a job done, I won't be tempted to take all the credit.

   I need to ponder this some more.

Ready or Not?

   "Readiness for God means that we are ready to do the tiniest little thing or the great big thing, it makes no difference. We have no choice in what we want to do, whatever God's programme may be we are there, ready." (Oswald Chambers)

   The first prerequisite of readiness for God's service is listening. I cannot be ready for this call unless I am able to hear God calling. I must be able to distinguish between calls of men or situations around me and a call from God. In the Old Testament, Samuel heard a call but did not know it was from God. Until he knew whose voice it was, he could not respond in a proper way.

   After hearing a call, some kind of response is necessary. It may be like Moses at the burning bush, "Here I am" (now what?). I hear you God and what do you want? It could be like Isaiah, "Here I am, send me". I am ready for whatever it means to be sent out.

   Several different questions come to me as I think about this.

       Am I close enough to God to actually know when he might be calling me?
       Am I ready to say yes without even knowing what He is telling me to do?
       Can I distinguish God's voice in the clamor of my life?
       Why would He want to call me anyway?
       Do I want the big task for God or the obscure one?

   Questions, questions, questions, always more questions than answers.

   God help me to know you, know your voice, and respond in a proper way. Help me to get ready and be ready.

Abandonment

   "If you have heard Jesus Christ's voice on the billows, let your convictions go to the winds, let your consistency go to the winds, but maintain your relationship to Him." (Oswald Chambers)

   Peter was in the boat, Jesus was on the land. All appearances aside, Peter jumps into the sea, going to Jesus as fast as he can. No thought of his safety, no thoughts of what others might think, only getting to where Jesus stood without delay. Complete abandonment to Christ.

   Peter has just been through another kind of abandonment. He denied Jesus three times before the crucifixion. His thoughts of personal safety and what others thought of him overpowered him to such an extent that his whole being recoiled from that previous situation.

   From the safety of the boat to the safety of the shore, there is an unknown area, filled with what ifs and maybes. Peter was willing to chance it simply because Jesus was there at the end, waiting for him. He knew who Jesus was, and he knew that was the Person he wanted to be with.

   But then there is the rest of the story. Peter is asked about his love for Jesus, three times, and is restored. His abandonment is vindicated.

   So the question is for me. Where am I on this continuum of abandonment? Am I sitting in the boat, knowing who the Man is on the shore, but working on my own to get to Him in the safety of the craft?

   Peter's life was changed, don't I want mine to be also?

   Abandonment is a serious thing.

Good Grief!

   I don't know where to begin today. Chambers' writing hits me on so many fronts that it is hard to separate out what to concentrate on. Maybe the best thing is just to read it in its entirety and let it all hit me at once.

   http://www.myutmost.org/04/0416.html

   What happens after a high point in my life? Several possibilities exist.

      1.There are moments of insight that need to be lived up to, even when I do not feel like
          it.
      2. The feeling that was shown by God in the high hour can be allowed to evaporate.

      3. Make decisions in the light of that high hour.

      4. Don't give up when I goof up.

   When God shines His light into my life, I can try to stay up on the mountain, or I can live out the light in the valleys of my everyday experience. Too often I know what to do and how to live, but just know it and not let my life be characterized by that knowledge.

   If God speaks into my life, I don't need to worship the fact of the speaking, I need to act on it. Even when the response is not very prompt, it may not be too late to be obedient.

   I think of the Nike commercial and relate it to a high moment of prompting by God. "Just do it". Not just know it, but actually do it.

   "Obedience is better that sacrifice." (I Samuel 15:22)

Concentration

   "Are there some things in connection with your bodily life, your intellectual life, upon which you are not concentrating at all? You are all right in the main but you are slipshod; there is a relapse on the line of concentration. You no more need a holiday from spiritual concentration than your heart needs a holiday from beating. You cannot have a moral holiday and remain moral, nor can you have a spiritual holiday and remain spiritual. God wants you to be entirely His, and this means that you have to watch to keep yourself fit. It takes a tremendous amount of time." (Oswald Chambers)

   Asa was one of the "good kings" of Judah. His reign reflected what he knew God wanted him to do to reestablish true worship in his land. The people were blessed to have him for a ruler and the land prospered for many years. His reign was long.

   "The high places were not eliminated from Israel, yet Asa was wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord throughout his lifetime." (2 Chron. 15:17)

   In the things that King Asa did he was wholeheartedly devoted to God, but he did not see all that had to be done. The high places were sacred to idol worship in the land, and they were allowed to remain. His concentration was not completely on spiritual things, so that he missed the entirety of God's call.

   My life is filled with so many competing things. My spiritual concentration is haphazard, and, although others may see my life as being concentrated in this area, God knows, and I know different.

   Asa's son, Jehoshaphat, succeeded him on the throne, and he continued his father's good things. He even recognized what had not been done and took down the high places. God's will was done, it just took a little longer that it should have.

   My prayer is that my kids might see the right things that I have done, but also recognize things overlooked and set them right in their time. Let their spiritual concentration be greater and their devotion be firmer.

My Burdens?

   "Whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth." How petty our complaining is! Our Lord begins to bring us into the place where we can have communion with Him, and we groan and say - "O Lord, let me be like other people!" Jesus is asking us to take one end of the yoke - "My yoke is easy, get alongside Me and we will pull together." Are you identified with the Lord Jesus like that? If so, you will thank God for the pressure of His hand." (Oswald Chambers)

   Paul says that I am to be identified with Christ in His suffering. Jesus, Himself, says that we will have troubles and have burdens to bear. Then I ask myself, where are my sufferings and troubles? What are my burdens to bear? Do I have even the foggiest of notions what these are?

   I don't think that I am the only one sitting in pews Sunday after Sunday, living the good life, and thanking God for His blessings in my life. Too much of the time my prayer mantra does not get past the "God is Great, God is Good, let us thank Him for our Food".

   I have been in church for most all of my 75 years, and it has only been in the past few that I have even thought about the depths of what real Christian living is all about. Outwardly I looked really good, but God knew the heart.

   I don't really want to suffer trials and troubles. I don't really want a lot of burdens to bear, but I do want to know Jesus Christ in the fullness of His life, and this includes all of the above. How can I ever know what sharing the yoke with Jesus means unless He is the one pulling along side me in all of this?

   God is great and God is good, but my thanks needs to be for more than just the food.

The Secret of Bearing Burdens

   "We must distinguish between the burden-bearing that is right and the burden-bearing that is wrong. We ought never to bear the burden of sin or of doubt, but there are burdens placed on us by God which He does not intend to lift off, He wants us to roll them back on Him." (Oswald Chambers)

   "Many workers have gone out with high courage and fine impulses, but with no intimate fellowship with Jesus Christ, and before long they are crushed. They do not know what to do with the burden, it produces weariness." (Oswald Chambers)

   "Roll thy burden upon the Lord" - you have been bearing it all; deliberately put one end on the shoulders of God. "The government shall be upon His shoulder." (Oswald Chambers)

   Here is the progression as it seems to me in all of this. First God does give us burdens to bear. Second we are to give those to God to help us carry, and Third that intimate fellowship with Jesus Christ is the key to understanding both one and two.

   God, You know how I struggle with this particular concept. I want that intimate fellowship for my life, I set aside a time to try to make it happen, and then my mind either goes off in many directions, or I go to sleep.

   I like what Dr. Del Tackett says in the Truth Project concerning prayer.

      "If I really believed that I was in God's throne room talking to Him, I would not
       have any trouble praying, I would have trouble leaving."

   I pray that it might be so.

Running on Empty

   "The weakest saint can experience the power of the Deity of the Son of God if once he is willing to "let go." Any strand of our own energy will blur the life of Jesus. We have to keep letting go, and slowly and surely the great full life of God will invade us in every part, and men will take knowledge of us that we have been with Jesus." (Oswald Chambers)

   I suppose the corollary of the above statement is true as well, that the power of Christ and the Holy Spirit will be evident in my life in the proportion of my "letting go". The more I actually do let go of my life, desires, sins, ambitions, motives and pride, the more of Christ can fill in the spaces that have been vacated.

   Men will take knowledge of us that we have been with Jesus the more we empty ourselves of ourselves.

   So, if this is such a good thing, why don't I do it? At least why don't I do it with regularity?

   I think about Sawyer again, and how I would desire for him to stand out from the crowd of "normal" college kids. To not be taken in by all the attitudes and actions of those who give no thought to God or His Will. I want that for Him, because I know it is right, but am I guilty of not standing out myself? Does my tank of "myself" need to be running on empty where I am?

   This is not a one time thing. There needs to be a continual "letting go" and "emptying" and a conscious decision to do it. I pray that God will keep my mind and heart in tune with Him, so that I do not just slide along, forgetting my need and desire to be more like Jesus.

Sawyer...College

   A few years ago, when my oldest grandson was in elementary school, whenever we would visit his family and it was time for him to go to bed, I would lie down with him and we would read books together. One night, as we were thinking about the next day, I asked him, if he could do anything he wanted to that next day, what would it be? I was thinking that he would tell me what games he wanted to play, but he surprised me when he replied that whatever he did, he just wanted to do it with me.

   Over the years, we have done a lot of playing together. Since we live 300 or so miles apart, we have not done it a lot, but we both like to play. Basketball, golf, tennis, Mario Cart, all those we played, till he got too good for me to stay up with him.

   Now this year he goes off to college. Not just any college, but one that is far away from home in a different part of the country. They talk funny up there, and they are way too liberal (whatever that means). He will do well, I know. He has a good moral compass and a good work ethic, just like his dad. His family has raised him right, and that is important.

   But I want him to more than just "good". I want him to be a light to those around him. I want him to make a difference in the lives of those that he touches. I want him to bear the love of Jesus Christ, who he professed some years ago, to those that are smart in worldly wisdom.

   I also know that college is not easy. There is a natural tendency to fit in, to be liked and respected by your peers, and to excel in both academic and athletic areas. But I want more for him. More than just summa cum laude, more than just All-Conference, more than class president, I want him to be all God would have him to be.

   I'm very proud of all that he has done so far, and I look forward to the next four years for him, not knowing exactly what lies ahead in detail, but knowing the One that cares for him even more than I do.

   There is a lot of praying on the horizon, I know.

Dying to...

   "It takes a long time to come to a moral decision about sin, but it is the great moment in my life when I do decide that just as Jesus Christ died for the sin of the world, so sin must die out in me, not be curbed or suppressed or counteracted, but crucified. No one can bring anyone else to this decision. We may be earnestly convinced, and religiously convinced, but what we need to do is to come to the decision which Paul forces here." (Oswald Chambers)

   Sin must die out in me, not be curbed or counteracted, or suppressed. I can recognize sin, before it happens or after, but I try to suppress it. I try to not let it happen in my life, but I also realize that I can and will sin. Perhaps this attitude of "all Christians do sin", is a deterrent to actually dying to sin in my life.

   Am I actually too accepting of sin in my life? This is a rhetorical question, because I know that I am. I don't like it, and I am ashamed of it, but I do accept it as a normal part of me.

   Chambers says "Haul yourself up, take a time alone with God, make the moral decision and say - "Lord, identify me with Thy death until I know that sin is dead in me." Make the moral decision that sin in you must be put to death.'

   Could I actually do that?

   Not on my own, that is for sure. I need supernatural help.

Seen Jesus?

   "Being saved and seeing Jesus are not the same thing. Many are partakers of God's grace who have never seen Jesus. When once you have seen Jesus, you can never be the same, other things do not appeal as they used to do." (Oswald Chambers)

   "Jesus appears to those for whom He has done something; but we cannot dictate when He will come. Suddenly at any turn He may come. "Now I see Him!"" (Oswald Chambers)

   What does it mean to see Jesus?
      Seeing a physical image of Him?
      Seeing a mental image of Him?
      Seeing Him in the person of another?

   I guess all of the above would fit the definition of "seeing Jesus", but Chambers uses the physical in his reading today. "He appeared to them"seems to denote they actually beheld Him with their own eyes, even though they might not immediately recognize Him as Jesus.

   So where does that leave me today? I have not "seen" Him, so should I desire that? Since it is not up to me, should I even worry about it?

   Where I would like to have answers, all I get is more questions. Perhaps I will go back to Jesus' words to Thomas, "Blessed are the people who have not seen and yet have believed."(John 20:29)

   Is this a cop-out so I don't have to think about this, or is it just saying that whatever God wants to bring into my life is right for me at that time?

   Great Scott, another question!

Love and Obey

   "Thank God it is gloriously and majestically true that the Holy Ghost can work in us the very nature of Jesus if we will obey Him." (Oswald Chambers)

   What does obedience to Jesus mean to me?

   I have been struck over the past months with Jesus' words "The person who has my commandments and obeys them, is the one that loves Me" (John 14:21). I have googled the commands of Jesus to see a list that others have taken from the His Words, so that I might know what to do to really love Him. I have read articles on the net about this, trying to see what others have said as regarding this verse and others like it.

   I realized this morning that I can be on the wrong track here. If I find a list of these commandments that will prove my love, is it not just a checking off a list? Is it not just such a list of the laws of God that the Pharisees used to measure their spirituality? Did not these same Pharisees strive to look good on the outside, while on the inside be full of dead men's bones?

   True obedience is not to list of rules, but to a Person. It is not just of the body, but of the heart.

   The commands of Jesus are important, and I do need to know what they are. I want my life to be characterized by obedience, but I do not want this obedience to be mandated by anything other than Love.

   Obedience equals Love. Love equals Obedience. God help me to see what that really looks like.

   Amen

Plain Words

   "God cannot reveal anything to us if we have not His Spirit. An obstinate outlook will effectually hinder God from revealing anything to us. If we have made up our minds about a doctrine, the light of God will come no more to us on that line, we cannot get it. This obtuse stage will end immediately [when] His resurrection life has its way with us."

   The reading today warns me not to speak so authoritatively if I am not filled with the Spirit of the Risen Christ. The preface to many statements that begin with I believe, or I think, or even I have had this revelation from God, can have its emphasis on the "I" part and not on what is truly from God. Caution is needed on my part.

   These statements above are not only a warning to me, but they are a challenge to me. I want to be able to understand what God is speaking to me through any Scripture that I might read. I realize that there is something there that is for me personally, if I can ascertain what it is. God can make plain to me what is for me.

   First of all, I need to want to know. Secondly, I need to be diligent in prayer and study, but thirdly, and most important, I need to be so controlled by the risen Christ that the Word is made plain to me. Abiding in Christ and waiting for His Word is key.

   How many times do I say that I need to know something, catch a phrase in the Bible reading, assume that is the answer and proceed? How many times do I speak from this supposed insight and discover later that I have not been a wise counselor?

   I suppose the old saying holds true here: "Keep silent and let people think you are a fool, or speak up and confirm it".

   God help me to be filled with the risen Christ so that your Word will be plain to me. Amen

The Cross

   "The centre of salvation is the Cross of Jesus, and the reason it is so easy to obtain salvation is because it cost God so much. The Cross is the point where God and sinful man merge with a crash and the way to life is opened - but the crash is on the heart of God."

   Can I ever explain the Cross of Jesus?

   Can I even understand this Cross?

   Can I ever fathom the love of God that made it necessary?

   I can be thankful for it. I can sit back and contemplate it. I can fall on my face and worship because of it.

   But even my gratitude and worship does not even seem to come close to the meaning of the Cross of Jesus.

   Again, as before so many times, I need help.

Just Another Easter?

   "We know nothing about Gethsemane in personal experience. Gethsemane and Calvary stand for something unique; they are the gateway into Life for us."

   As much as I might want to project myself back into those scenes of Gethsemane and Calvary, I cannot know the suffering of Jesus during those few days. They are unique to Him. These are the agonies of God becoming man for me. The agonies of a God/Man who knew no sin, taking on mine (and the rest of the world's). I can't even fathom the God/Man relationship, much less all that goes into it.

   So, do I even try? Has the story of Easter become so familiar to me that it does not stir me at all? Can I see it with fresh eyes this time around? Can I get by all the pageantry and see the Person?

   This will be a challenge for me, but I pray God that it might be so.

   Amen

Willing to do What?

   Usually I put in this blog a quote from Oswald Chambers, one that speaks to my heart that day. Today I have a problem picking out one quote because it all is so relevant. So, instead of a quote, I just put the whole thing by means of a link to today's page.

   http://www.myutmost.org/04/0404.html

   The disciples were scattered. All to their own self interest and self preservation. Their faith was real, but their flesh was weak and troubled. They had not been faced with the desolation that Jesus' death brought into their lives. Their faith had been nurtured by His presence. This was their greatest blessing.

   I have been blessed, and I know it without a doubt. I have said before that my most frequent and fervent prayer is "Thank You".

   This quote from inside the reading says it best:

   "Until Jesus Christ is Lord, we all have ends of our own to serve; our faith is real, but it is not permanent yet. God is never in a hurry; if we wait, we shall see that God is pointing out that we have not been interested in Himself but only in His blessings."

   Therein lies the rub. I have been blessed so much that I have missed the greatest, Jesus Christ Himself. Faith in what He has done is necessary, but faith in Him is crucial.

   Do I want to accept any darkness of soul that God wants to put in my life, or just count my blessings and go on?

   I say that God is in control, and that He wants only the best for me in my life. What if the best is not all the good things that I enjoy? Am I ready and willing to let God work in my life, or do I just want to blog about it?

   Is Jesus truly Lord or just Savior?

Thanks for the Memories

   "Never be afraid when God brings back the past. Let memory have its way. It is a minister of God with its rebuke and chastisement and sorrow. God will turn the "might have been" into a wonderful culture for the future."

   Rebuke, chastisement and sorrow....memories that we wish we did not have or at least that they had played out another way. I can relate to this, with plenty of regrets that I had, or had not, done something, that I had not put my whole effort into a job or activity, or that I had not been involved in something. God has used these memories in the past to turn me around in some areas. Even though I have lived for almost 75 years, I really want to do a better job in my remaining few, and these chastisements are a part of that realization.

   But there are other memories also. Memories of raising kids, of being in wonderful places with family and friends and even of experiencing God in various situations and ways. Good memories all, and great to have in my memory bank.

   God told the Israelites to pile up stones by the river bank so they could tell their children when they asked about the heap. That way the story of God's working in their nation's life could be passed down to the next generation. Our memories are our stones also, sometimes written down, sometimes in pictures, sometimes just oral history, but always for the purpose of reminding ourselves and our families of what God has done, and continues to do with us and through us.

   Chambers is right when he talks about the memories that show "what might have been", but there are also some good ones that show "what was", and those can be a blessing.

   God, show me how to use all of my memories, both the good and the bad, to change me and bless others around me.

Behold the Man

   "The abiding characteristic of a spiritual man is the interpretation of the Lord Jesus Christ to himself, and the interpretation to others of the purposes of God. The one concentrated passion of the life is Jesus Christ. Whenever you meet this note in a man, you feel he is a man after God's own heart."

   For me, there is no other song as stirring and beautiful as Stuart Townend's hymn, How Deep the Father's Love For Us. I get a catch in my throat even as the opening melody begins, and often I am unable to sing the words because of the emotion in my heart. Verses three and four state:

      "Behold the man upon the cross
       My sin upon his shoulders
       Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
       Call out among the scoffers

       It was my sin that held him there
       Until it was accomplished
       His dying breath has brought me life
       His death and resurrection"

   The third verse begins with "Behold", look at, concentrate on, see the man on that cross, Jesus Christ. He is the one I need to keep my eyes on as I live life each and every day. He is the main character in the drama, the man that divided history. A great figure to be sure.

   But it is also very personal. "It was my sin that held Him there". He died for me, little ole insignificant me. I am humbled, I am thankful, I am awed, and I am moved by that one act, but I am also ashamed that I often do not live in the light of it. My eyes need to be fixed on Him and not on so many other things in the world.

   "Behold the Man upon the cross"

   God help me to do just that.

Busyness under the Microsope

   Chambers talks today about the curse of busyness on our walk with God. Even the busyness of doing good things, even things in the name of God.

   That is easy for me to see. I like to be busy, and I like to be busy in good things, things that help the church or the church people. Sometimes I think it is my own personal pride in doing things that others will call "good", but most of the time I just enjoy being busy in the place where God is working.

   My primary places of service are in our church and in the prison. Both are very satisfying, and I feel that they are worthwhile in God's Kingdom.

   But as I try to apply Chambers reading today to these areas of busy service, I am struck by what this busyness can take the place of, or worse yet, conceal.

   My most glaring deficiency is in person time with God. Whether this is in worship or personal study and prayer, this is an area that needs to claim more of my attention. Without this personal relational time my service loses the power that is needed to be effective for Him. Sometimes I am only serving myself rather than God.

   A second reason for busyness is to conceal an inner need for self reflection. I'm just too busy doing good to confront my motives for all of this. Maybe I know deep down that I am woefully short on the personal aspect of knowing God and try to cover this with work.

   The two thoughts go right together. I realize that I desperately need that personal relationship with the One I serve, and I need to seek that continually. Only then will I have the right motives for service, and I won't have to worry about trying to conceal my shortcomings in this area.

   And my production of hay and stubble will diminish.