Monuments and Dreams

   Mayre and I have just spent two days in Savannah with our oldest son and his family. We had a good time together, and I am reminded of the sights we took in while there.

   Savannah is the oldest city in Georgia, founded in 1733 by James Oglethorpe, becoming the 13th of the original colonies. The city planners of that earlier era laid out a town with multiple squares of green spaces, small oases of quiet in the midst of the residential and commercial areas.

   I walked through and sat in many of these areas and thought about the earlier life of the people there, the hardships of the colonists, their victories and their defeats. Many of these squares had statuary in them, commemorating a particular person or event in their 275 plus years of existence. There were the victories of the Revolution in the 1700s as well as the defeats of the Civil War in the 1860s. There were the epidemics and fires of their earlier history as well as the growth and progress that continues today.

   My life is somewhat like that city. I have had victories and defeats. I have had periods of distress and jubilation, and I sometimes set aside places and build monuments to events and people. But I cannot just sit in the shade and remember all that has happened, both good and bad, and dwell on that. 

   This is the last morning and day of 2011 and tomorrow will begin a new year. As Chambers writes:

   "Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him."

   I had a funny dream last night, but maybe it fits into the things I am thinking about this morning. I had slipped into a service, in a church that I did not recognize, looking for a place to sit. I realized that the back pew, all former Baptists tend to gravitate to this area, had room for one more if I asked the person on the end to scoot down. But before I could tap them on the shoulder and ask, I decided to go down about four rows and sit in an unoccupied pew. It seemed like I knew the person on the end of the back pew, but who it was I don't know, it was just a person I knew from the past.

   Could it be that the dream meant that I was not to sit down and continue to remember life in the past, but to move to a new seat and live there, being open to anyone and anything that God chose to bring to my new area. Maybe it was a silly thought, and maybe not, but It fit the analogy.

   It would seem that the purpose of remembering is to spur us on to greater things in the present and future, but I am not to just sit there. There is life to be lived and it happens in the present.

   Paul says in Philippians "Forgetting what is past, I press on....", but I might change the word forgetting to not dwelling on. So...

   Bring on 2012. With God's help the monuments I build for others to see will be those of victories and not defeats.

Wisdom from Archer

   As I was reading Chambers devotional thought for this morning, my grandson Archer, over in Arkansas, came to my mind.

   Now Archer, who is smart as a whip (however smart that is), was pretty slow to start talking and his words were few for the first several years. If I remember the story correctly, he was sitting in church one Sunday with his family and leaned over to Donna with a request. "Mom I want to say a word" to which she replied OK. He then said "Lord". Now I do not know what was going through his mind just then, but I thought what he wanted to say was profound.

                                                 Noel, Archer, Cady Gray and Donna

   Chambers says today: "There are areas of self-will in our lives where our pride pours contempt on the throne of God and says, "I won't submit." We deify our independence and self-will and call them by the wrong name. What God sees as stubborn weakness, we call strength. There are whole areas of our lives that have not yet been brought into submission, and this can only be done by this continuous conversion. Slowly but surely we can claim the whole territory for the Spirit of God."

   I am quick to give Jesus the name of Savior, and sometimes I am even pretty quick to give him the title of "Lord", but is He really? I even catch myself in prayer often using the title, but then realizing that maybe I should not because it is not evident in my life that He actually is.

   Thanks Archer, for reminding me of where I should be in my relationship to my Savior, and I thank God, too, that He has not given up on me for taking such a long time to get there.

Here Comes the Battle

   Chambers talks today about battles, and I think about the kinds of battles I fight. There can be battles against sin in my life, sins that God has pointed out to me and that I have even acknowledged before him, and sometimes even before others. There can also be battles against going a certain way where God is leading. Whatever the specific battle, I realize that they fall into what Chambers is referring to today. He says:

   "Our battles are first won or lost in the secret places of our will in God's presence, never in full view of the world. The Spirit of God seizes me and I am compelled to get alone with God and fight the battle before Him. Until I do this, I will lose every time. The battle may take one minute or one year, but that will depend on me, not God. However long it takes, I must wrestle with it alone before God, and I must resolve to go through the hell of renunciation or rejection before Him. Nothing has any power over someone who has fought the battle before God and won there."

   There can be at least two distinct factors that come into play here. Will I acknowledge that I need to fight a particular battle and then will I fight it. It is fairly easy to agree with God that a certain area of my life needs help, but it is much harder to fight the battle to straighten it out.

   The hardest battles to fight are those that, in my own mind and heart, appear to have some good in them, and that I really don't see a need to give up. After all, they define me. 

   But that is the major problem, ME. My standards of right and wrong, of better and best, or any other such choice. My struggles are not fought out in the public arena, but have to be a one on one with God Himself, and that takes a willingness to take that step with all its attendant consequences.

   I want to struggle to get myself right, to shape up my life, but the problem is one of I, ME and MYSELF. I have met the enemy and he is me.

   I can realize that I need to give up all rights to myself, but then comes the battle.

A Christmas Prayer

   Let's face it, I am a throwback to an older generation. I like the traditional ways, at least the ways of my life in the past. I reflect on this as I ponder the Christmas Eve service in our church last night. 

   Where in the service did I feel closest to God? It was in singing the old carols and the lighting of the candles, things that I had done many times, but that felt right as a form of worship. As I think about this I realize that maybe I just wanted a good feeling, a quick reminder that I still realized the true meaning of Christmas, a sense, that for a few brief moments, I could forget all the tinsel and lights and concentrate on Jesus.

   Then I sit here this morning, and I am struck by all of the things that I do not want out of Christmas or any service, however reverent and worshipful. Not that I do not want them per se, but that I do not want them to be my priority. Things like serving communion, like singling old carols, like candles and the soft glow in the church, things like seeing old friends and things like feeling good about myself in this season.

   My Christmas Prayer to God this day is hard to put into words. I do not need my feelings stimulated, I do not need to feel good about myself, I don't even need the right conditions for worship, I just need You.

   I think of the verse from Paul's letter:

   Philippians 3:10
   English Standard Version (ESV)
   10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in his death,

   The title of our pastor's series this December has been "Heaven Came Near", but I would like to have it changed to "Heaven Came Here".

   God let it be so.

Hugs are Great

   We are over in Pensacola for a couple of days. The parents of one of our daughter-in-laws invited us to come to help celebrate Christmas with them and their family. They may have felt sorry for us since we had no family coming to our place to celebrate the holidays, but it was good of them nevertheless, because we got to be with 3 of our grand children during this special time.

   One problem with being over here is that they are on Central Standard Time and my internal clock is messed up. I was wide awake this morning while it was still dark and got up to find out that it was only 5:30 their time. Of course that works out for me, as it gives me time to study, pray and think before the house gets all noisy, but I may pay for it later today.

   As I thought back over yesterday and what we had done, I found myself coming back to one scene that seemed to jump out at me, causing me to wonder why I remembered that one so vividly.

   One of our grand daughters is what I call a "hugger". She is unashamed to show affection for almost everyone around her. I don't know how many times over the few hours we have been here that I have seen her hugging someone, and I have been the recipient of more than one of these displays. At one point she came over to me while the adults were playing a card game, climbed up into my lap and just hugged for about 5 minutes. I confess that I enjoyed that brief time a lot.

   What is it about affirmations that make me feel good? I want the grand children to love their Papa, I want to play good golf, so that I can get the praise of my partners, I want to do a good job at something at home or church, and I even want God to affirm me for getting up at 5:30. In short, I am a good guy, Right?

   Chambers uses the verse in Galatians 6 today: " God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ . .." (Galatians 6:14)

   All the things that I mention about being affirmed have to do with me. I am, I am, I did, but that is not the role God wants me to play. But it is so hard to get myself out of the way, it feels so good.

   Christmas is not about me, it is about Him. It is about birth, yes, but it is also about suffering, death and rejection. Can I be identified with all of that? Between the bookends of birth and resurrection lies a life that I need to embrace.

   I want Caroline's hugs for sure, they are great, but I want God's affirmation, too.

After the Tinsel....

   Chambers talks today about real faith in this way:

   "Be relentless and hard on yourself if you are in the habit of talking about the experiences you have had. Faith based on experience is not faith; faith based on God's revealed truth is the only faith there is."

   I read the lines of his devotional over quite a few times this morning and thought about what has given me faith, any kind of faith.

   It is very easy to rely on the experiences I have had to show me what faith has produced in my life. If I point to something that has happened and use it as an example of faith, is that all that bad? Maybe it is not bad in itself, but is it the best thing to look to?

   I looked back this morning to the first few blogs I had written in February of this year. There were many questions that I threw out there. Some questions were just rhetorical, and I knew what the answer was. Some were questions of where I was spiritually in God's sight. Some were profound, some were silly, but most came back to the haunting question, Do I Really Know God?

   Even at this special time of the year, do I really know what it is all about? Can I fathom the whole idea of incarnation? Is it real to me or just tradition?

   It is easy to get caught up in the emotion of the season, but if I strip that all away, what is left?

   GOD and only GOD

Concern, Dread and Rest

   At church last Sunday morning, I ran into my barber, and, knowing that I needed a haircut before going away for a few days, asked him if he was working this next week. He replied that he would be in on Monday and part of Tuesday, because he had to go to Jacksonville for an appointment at Mayo. Knowing that a visit to Mayo Clinic could mean several things for him because of his past history with cancer, I asked him if it was for a regular checkup. I could see the hurt in his eyes as he told me that his cancer had shown up in his kidney and that his doctor needed to check it out.

   When I went early on Monday to get the haircut, he did not mention the dreaded "C" word at all, but as I prepared to leave, I told him that I would be praying for him on Tuesday as he drove down to the clinic, and also praying for the doctor as the checkup procedure took place. Again, I could see pain and concern in his eyes as he thanked me for that, and with that I went on my way into my regular activities of that day.

   I am sure that the seriousness of the diagnosis stayed with him throughout the day on Monday, and, even as I sit here on Tuesday morning, I know the life threatening nature of the disease weighs heavy on him. Even as I pray for all this, I am struck by the consequences of the whole affair. Here I sit writing about the situation, while he is living through it. I really don't know what that scenario feels like.

   Twenty-three years ago I had a stay in the hospital that could have affected me like my barber. When the doctor said they had found a mass in my back, my thought was not that it could be life threatening, but that I needed some relief, and they could fix whatever it was. Only later did I realize what "a mass" could have been, but at the time that did not matter. Even now, my most vivid memory of the whole thing was the confinement in the MRI chamber for forty minutes, and the dread of that claustrophobia, not what the MRI showed.

   So I wonder what my emotions would be today if I was on the way to that checkup. Would I be full of dread, full of fear, full of resignation, or accepting of whatever the outcome was? If I was the latter, what would my acceptance mean? Would that mean resignation to the fact of what follows a bad diagnosis, or could I say, in confidence, that God is in control?

   It is easy for me to say "God is in control" as I sit here, but what if I was sitting in that doctor's office waiting and then listening to that verdict? 

   Psalm 23 says in part: "The Lord is my shepherd.....as I pass through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear.."

   God, my prayer today is for my friend, his family and friends, and it is for me also, that I might live in the light of your presence and, when my time comes, to rest in the hope of your faithful promises.

Christmas in Prison

   I got a letter the other day from a man who is serving a long sentence in prison. He and I have been corresponding for 10 years or so and met when I served on one of the Kairos teams in Ware State Prison over in Waycross. Why we were drawn to each other, I am not sure, but we have enjoyed our conversations together in person and through the mail.

   When I first met him, I knew next to nothing about his life, except that he was in prison. Little by little over the years his story has come out and why he is serving time in the penal system. He is a mild mannered man, with a near constant smile. He comes from a good background, and you wonder how he could be in his current situation, but he got caught up in some things while serving in the military and ended up with a long sentence to serve.

   He became a Christian while in prison, before we met, and so I have known the changed man, not the one that got into trouble.

   Through this man, I have gotten to know a little of what it is like to be locked up, and the dehumanizing aspect of prison life. Yet I have also seen the effect of God in a life that does not sit around in a bad situation with a "woe is me" attitude. 

   A lot of the time, when I talk to others in the same situation, there is a despair around this time of the year. Christmas is a time of family, and a lot of these men and women in prison have been abandoned by theirs. It is a hard time for them.

   A line from his recent letter comes through to me this morning:

   "I have always enjoyed Christmas, even while in here. God has given us His greatest gift and I can't help but to rejoice, rejoice, rejoice."

   If he can, surely I can also.

Are Ghosts Sometimes Neccesary?

   Mayre Lou and I went to the old Ritz Theatre in downtown Brunswick last night to see a local rendition of Dicken's Christmas Carol. The city mayor played the lead, and students and other locals took up the remaining parts. It was a fun evening.

   Of course, I remembered the basic plot of the story, but was still amazed and somewhat delighted by the transformation of Scrooge by that one Christmas. He went from being a miserly, "bah humbug" character to one of warmth and consideration of others. He was able to see Christmas through a different set of eyes.

   Now Christmas comes on the same day of the same month every year. We may have the same traditions, the same lights, even the same church services, but could I possibly see it in a different way after all the holidays I have observed in my life. That is a challenge.

   I know the Christmas Story, the narrative of God sending His Own Son to earth, to take on human form, to live among men so that men could live with Him forever, but do I really "know" the story?

   Like so many others, I decry the commercialization of Christmas, but might it be just as dangerous to accept the routines of this particular Holiday in a way that the whole purpose of God is trivialized into trees, candles and gifts.

   I would like to celebrate this Christmas through new eyes, and if it takes the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future to help that to happen, bring them on.

   Routines and traditions are great in their place, but newness of sight and heart make the season fresh and alive.

   God, let it be so.

A Cut and Paste Religion

   It is the easiest thing in the world to take a belief, however true it may be, and accept it as mine. But Oswald says that that is not enough. He uses the verse in II Timothy 2 to illustrate what the path is to living this belief out, where Paul writes:

   15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. (ESV)

   Here is a quote from the devotion for this morning:

   "Always make it a practice to stir your own mind thoroughly to think through what you have easily believed. Your position is not really yours until you make it yours through suffering and study. The author or speaker from whom you learn the most is not the one who teaches you something you didn't know before, but the one who helps you take a truth with which you have quietly struggled, give it expression, and speak it clearly and boldly."

   One of the easiest ways to write a right sounding blog is to cut and paste items from other sources. These sources can be from great Christian writers and even the Bible itself, but until they are lived out in my life, they are only of academic importance. I can even take these jewels and write or speak about them to others, and they are just words with no punch or validity.

   When I attempt to internalize, by study and thought, what is presented to me as truth, that is when it can become real to me. When I find that I have more questions than answers, then I realize that I have begun to make it more than just a truth, but my truth. Mental assent to a truth may be the first step to living it, but it is not the final step.

   Do I want to just speak the right things, or do I want my life to show that I really do believe what I say? The most powerful testimony to the truth is a person who lives it out. So, the old question from The Truth Project comes back to haunt me once again:

   "Do you really believe what you believe is really true?"

   God, please continue to help me to see Your truth, hear Your truth, study Your truth, and live Your truth, so that I might speak Your truth with clarity and conviction.

A Straightforward Story Line, But a Plot with Many Facets

   Chambers talks today about having God's peace in my life, and the thought comes to me that this peace is evident in my life as I understand that I am but a small bit player in the plot of God's continuing story. The story is not about me, but about Him.

   An insignificant thing happened in our Wednesday morning Bible study a few weeks back. Billy was talking about something in the book of Ecclesiastes, which was our book study that day, and referred to the Christian's role in giving a witness to others about God in our lives. After several people shared how they went about this proclamation of their faith, I was prompted to share a specific experience that had stuck in my memory, a moment in the prison ministry that had impacted an inmate.

   There was an isolated and, at the time, an insignificant moment on the first night of a Kairos weekend at Ware State Prison, when I simply smiled at an inmate as he came through the doors of the meeting room for the first time. No words, just a smile, but as that man spoke to the group at the closing of the weekend, he related how that first encounter, made him feel that perhaps these days, and this program, were meant for him.

   I shared that story with the study group some weeks back, and this morning one of the men in the group, one that I had not even talked with in any of the prior sessions, came up to me and asked me about that prison ministry. We talked a bit about it, and then he asked if maybe he could check into it and see whether or not God might want him to work on it sometime in the future. He gave me his name and email, and I said that I would put him in touch with the leadership for the next walk, and he could check it out.

   Now that is a long story to just make one point. This man, Mike, may be called by God to show His love in prison to some men. I don't know the future, of course, but he could have an important impact on the lives of one, or several, or a whole bunch of inmates. These inmates could have a God given testimony of His power in their own lives, to the community in prison, to their families and to their world when they are returned to society someday.

   On the time scale of History, all of the above events are but a nanosecond, and each in its own right may be pretty insignificant. God calls a man to work in prison ministry, a smile, an inmate is confirmed, the inmate shares, years later the worker shares that man's story in a Bible study, weeks after that, a man asks about the ministry. Could that be the end of that particular story line? Sure, but it could also be continued into the future as part of the Big Story, the story of God's redemptive purposes.

   I am a blip on the world's timeline, but I can still be a part of the story as I realize my role, not as the lead actor, but as a bit player, maybe even as an extra with no words.

   Thank you God for letting me remember these events and for reminding me whose story it really is.

A Hail Mary Situation

   It is the end of the football game, the team with the ball is behind by 4, they are 60 yards away from the goal, a field goal will not help them and there are only 3 seconds left. What do they do? They throw a "Hail Mary" pass into the end zone, hoping to get a deflection for a touchdown, or, at least, an interference call that would allow them another play from closer in.

   Now I am not that familiar with the Catholic tradition in the using of the prayer which begins with Hail Mary, full of grace....but I am very familiar with my own prayer life, or lack thereof.

   Chambers writes today:

   "True intercession involves bringing the person, or the circumstance that seems to be crashing in on you, before God, until you are changed by His attitude toward that person or circumstance."

   Too often, my prayers are more like the desperation of the pass into the end zone, hoping that some good may come out of it. A situation may be spiraling out of control, and my effort in prayer is a "close my eyes and fling it" endeavor.

   Chambers emphasis is on the one praying and not the person or circumstance being prayed about or for. I pray that God will change my circumstance, but God wants the situation to change me, especially in my attitude toward Him. I want the quick remedy so I can go on living my life as I want, but God wants the permanent fix.

   God, your will be done (not mine).

An Audience of One

   As this day began, my thoughts were that I had an uninterrupted morning to concentrate on what God was saying to me. No obligations, no schedule, and a few hours until I had to pick up Mayre Lou from church at noon. The perfect storm for sure.

   Then I sat down, opened the Oswald Chambers site, my blogging site and the Bible site that I use to study the whole scripture surrounding the one used in the devotional reading. I was ready for God to meet with me.

   Then, a blank. My mind was everywhere, my concentration shattered. I thought about Christmas, long ago ones and current. I thought about church things, jobs and obligations, and home things, current and projected.

   I went back and reread Chambers for about the tenth time, and this caught my eye:

   "Personality is the unique, limitless part of our life that makes us distinct from everyone else. It is too vast for us even to comprehend. An island in the sea may be just the top of a large mountain, and our personality is like that island. We don't know the great depths of our being, therefore we cannot measure ourselves. We start out thinking we can, but soon realize that there is really only one Being who fully understands us, and that is our Creator."

   God says the object of this time is not to think about something to write about, but to "be". I don't understand why this morning is like it is, but He does.

   I want to write something inspiring for anyone who happens on the site, and maybe even use a picture like I learned how to do yesterday.

   But He says that this exercise in study and writing is just to be for an audience of One, and that is all that matters.

   Oh, slow learner that I am, let me just stay out of the way and interact, whether I do any good writing or not.

   One knows and understands.

Come On, Really?

   The verse in the devotion for today is Matthew 16:24, where the Bible says:

   "Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (ESV)

   Two words jump out at me when I read this: DENY HIMSELF

   Then my first thoughts are in the form of a question: How often do I actually deny myself anything? My daily life seems full of just the opposite, and it looks more like self indulgence, rather than consideration of others.

   So, Chambers says in relation to all of this:

   "God wants to bring you into union with Himself, but unless you are willing to give up your right to yourself, He cannot. ". . . let him deny himself . . ." deny his independent right to himself. Then the real life-the spiritual life-is allowed the opportunity to grow."

   Babies are terribly cute, but they only know one thing, whatever they want, they want, and they want it now. Our whole advertising culture is about self wants, and the focal point is "me".

   My son in law, Noel, over in Arkansas put a Cady Gray (my charming grand daughter over there) quote on his Twitter line the other day.

   "Christmas is not just about getting, it is also about giving and receiving."

   Even at Christmas time, it is hard to get away from ourselves...

   Deny Myself, Come On, Really?

Deciding Beforehand

   Yesterday, Mayre Lou and I watched the news of another shooting at Virginia Tech, and, in our minds, lived through the sadness of the 2007 events that caused so much havoc in the lives of the people of Blacksburg. Some of my thoughts, even as the new story came out, were about how I could incorporate that older tragedy into my blog for this morning. I thought of it again this morning as I got up early to study and write. How could I find something in the Chambers' devotion for today that would tie in with my feelings of 4 years ago? It would be a good thing to relive those traumatic events and explore my feelings again.

   Then comes another thought from somewhere. My stated object in this study and writing is to take the thoughts of Oswald, read and think on them, and see what God was saying to me. Was the correct path deciding first what I would write about and then bending the devotion to fit the subject? A rhetorical question again.

   Chambers says today:

   "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself. . . (Matthew 16:24). That is, he must deny his right to himself, and he must realize who Jesus Christ is before he will bring himself to do it. Beware of refusing to go to the funeral of your own independence."

   Do I do what I want to do, even in such a small(?) matter of will?

   Will I do my study to fit my own inclinations and desires, or sit with an open mind and heart and try to listen to what God wants to say, even if that is hard? 


   Who is in control here anyway?

   When God has to get my attention on this "personal independence" thing right out of the box this morning, and remind me that "good" is not often the "best", it could be a long day. 

   The writings of Oswald Chambers are not Holy Scripture, and I am not a slave to what he says, but God has encouraged me to take those, along with the Bible verses contained in them, and use them as a jumping off place for study and reflection, for His purposes in my life.

   God help me not to jump ahead of You in any area of life, but to listen and get out of the way.

Anticipation and Feeling

   I was thinking this morning about the giving of gifts at Christmas time, and so I typed into Google search the question, "Why give gifts at Christmas?". One site on the Web concluded their answer to the question in this way.

   "Today, we all give gifts at Christmas for our own reasons. For some, it is a way to celebrate the Christian holy day. For others, it is a special time to let family and friends know that you care by giving gifts. At times, giving gifts at Christmas becomes almost mechanical, and a chore; when this happens, it is worth stepping aside for a few moments to consider why exactly you give gifts at Christmas."

   I read the last statement in the quote and I consider why I do that at all. In our family, Mayre is the one who gets the ideas and does the shopping for gifts for the kids and grand kids. My only job is furnishing money to do this and maybe coming up with an idea or two that would be appropriate. On rare occasions I have a great idea and really get involved in the whole process.

   When I do get involved, either in the selection for a special gift, or in one for a special person, a lot of my joy comes from the anticipation of how that gift will be received. What will the person feel, how will they like it and how will they use it? I can see how a particular item can impact their life for the better and look forward to seeing them realize that potential benefit.

   Now the special gift of God at Christmas is the gift of Himself, in the person of His Son, Jesus Christ. It is hard to say that God has joy in the anticipation of how His gift will be received, He knows, but there is joy nonetheless when that Gift is received with great thanksgiving.

   When I give a gift at Christmas, I can look forward to how it will be received and imagine the delight of the recipient. I will also be hoping that I am right. Would I be disappointed if that gift was put in the trash or in the back of the closet, never to see the light of day? Sure!

   Acceptance of the gift given, and use of the same, brings joy to the giver.


   How does God feel?

A Gold Star in the Window

   Mayre and I go to a Bible Study early on Wednesday mornings. This morning as I put a date to my notes for the day, December 7 jumped out at me. Someone mentioned Pearl Harbor and, looking around the room, I realized that there were probably only 2 of us in the study that might even remember the actual day, where we were and what we did on hearing the news of the Japanese attack on our naval base in Hawaii.

   Since the attack took place on on Sunday morning on Oahu, with all the times zones involved, it was late in the afternoon when my mom called us to come in from play and listen to the news on the radio. We gathered around the bulky radio console as the announcer gave the sketchy details concerning the strike. Since I was only 5 at the time, the full impact of the event did not phase me too much, but I somehow knew it was very important.

   In our family, my dad had two brothers who served in the Army, my mom had a nephew in the Marines, and Mayre's brother served in the Army also, but no one paid the ultimate sacrifice.

   What do I still remember about the time from Pearl Harbor to VJ Day in August 1945? Ration cards, gasoline ration priority stickers on the windshield, no new cars to buy, no butter only oleo, soldiers coming to church and being invited home to Sunday lunch, looking for German plans over our area (didn't ever see any, but we looked), paper and scrap metal drives at school, war bonds, and gold stars in some house windows.

   As kids, we looked at the war as a big adventure, using it to guide our "soldier play", but not realizing the tragic extent of it at all. Looking on the Internet today, I find the most common estimates for military death totals for this country estimated at around 400,000 men and women.

   Looking at History from afar, the 400,000 total just rolls off my tongue, but when I think about the homes with those gold stars hanging in them, I begin to realize what the cost of freedom looks like. It was very personal to a lot of people, and that figure does not even count all the wounded. We who are privileged to live in this great land owe a great debt to those who served in that great conflict, and in the other wars we have fought.

   A special thanks to, and a prayer for, those with the gold star.

A Piece of Paper

   Chambers' reading for today had to do with the covenant God made with Noah, symbolized by the rainbow, that He would never again destroy mankind by the use of a great flood. He then relates that covenant from the Old Testament with another covenant, symbolized by Jesus' death and resurrection, in the New.

   Chambers then states: "All the great blessings of God are finished and complete, but they are not mine until I enter into a relationship with Him on the basis of His covenant."

   Noah did not have to do anything to stop any future flooding, no set of rules to adhere to, no sacrifices on his part, just a looking up at the rainbow in the sky and believe that God was faithful to what He had promised. What if Noah did not look up and believe what God had said? He then would suffer much unrest in his soul every time it sprinkled, wondering if he needed to begin work on another boat. God would be faithful to His promise regardless, but Noah would not be able to live in the light of that unless he believed.

   Paul says the same thing in Romans: 10:9 because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

   In order for Noah to be truly free to live the life God had prepared for him, he had to have more than just mental belief. It was a heart belief, trusting that God was good for His word.

   In order for me to be free and live the life God wants for me, my faith and trust in God, to do what He says, springs from the heart also. This kind of belief is not one that just carries a piece of paper around so I can read and be reminded every day, and then just live any way I please. The acceptance of God's promise in His covenant produces a lifestyle that reflects this. What is stamped on my heart is lived out, not only where I can know and sense it, but is there for others to see also.

   Mental assent is not good enough, true belief comes from the heart and is shown in the way I live. 

   God, help me to live out what I say I believe.

   And get rid of that piece of paper

An Earthly Struggle

   Chambers says today:

   "When the Son of man cometh, shall He find faith on the earth?" We all have faith in good principles, in good management, in good common sense, but who amongst us has faith in Jesus Christ? Physical courage is grand, moral courage is grander, but the man who trusts Jesus Christ in the face of the terrific problems of life is worth a whole crowd of heroes".

   Yesterday, between church services, I met with a couple who were having financial difficulties, among other things. As I sat and listened to their story, I was shocked to hear what all they had gone through in the last few years. They were not begging for help from the church, they were just looking for the combination of a sympathetic ear and some practical steps of survival. It was amazing to me that they had not just given up on life and "gone on the dole".

   In the course of the conversation, they asked me about my life, and I knew, as my story unfolded for them, that I could not even partly relate to their situation. I almost felt ashamed in telling it, that I had not felt any of the things that they were going through. It seemed like the difference between the Garden of Eden and a POW camp.

   That desperate couple had survived on faith and hope and trust. Their very presence in church that day, and in that room talking about their struggles, was a testimony to their life in Jesus Christ. They were perplexed, they were suffering, but they were holding on to HIm.

   I thought back to the Bible verse in the New Testament that reads:

   1Co 10:13 No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it.

   Perhaps God is showing me that I am not made of stuff that would allow me to pass through a trial like that. If that is true, how do I help them?

   God, give me the right words to say is my first prayer and the second one is to bring about in my life that same level of faith and trust that they exhibit.

Be Bold and Careful

   Yesterday a friend called, and, in the midst of the conversation, he mentioned that my blog really blessed him. Now that statement always both blesses and surprises me. I am surprised because, deep down, I don't think that anything that I write is all that profound, and blessed because God has used the words to minister to someone else. There is also the surprise that anyone would read it at all.

   The reason for this writing activity, initially, was to journal my quiet time thoughts. As I was doing this, the idea hit me that some of the struggles I go through, and how God was speaking to me through them, might resonate with others in similar circumstances. So, the blog was born.

   Chambers uses this verse today:

      "My speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power.". 1 Corinthians 2:4

   Now I do not consider my words to be preaching, unless I am preaching to myself, but I realize that by blogging, these same words are being read by others. I know that is what blogging is, but it also carries with it a responsibility to be both honest and careful about what I write. 

   One temptation is to be both witty and wise so that any accidental audience will believe that I have something to say, and that it is worth them taking the time to read, but the greater snare is thinking that all of this somehow makes the writer important. 

   Would it be great if everyone who reads an entry sent a message of how good it was and how it changed their life forever? Probably not, the writer's head would swell and he would get all the credit. The blog would be only a creative exercise, not at all what was intended to be.

   So I have to be careful. Careful to be understood for sure, but careful that the words written are what the Spirit of God leads me to write. Careful not to let the object of the project be the praise of man, and a path to self glory. Careful to be relevant and humble at the same time, but without being proud to be humble.

   God's admonition today is to lead a bold and careful life, and not let the two be in conflict with each other.

   Now, that would be something worthwhile.

Planning vs. Living

   When confronted with the possibility of a new responsibility, whether it be at home, at church or in the world, I tend to spend some time imagining how this new role will play out in my life and how it can be used for God's purpose in the world around me. Some of this is daydreaming, and some can be trying to determine how best to perform, so that my usefulness for God and for others is maximized.

   Planning is good, I need to plan, but sometimes the time spent in thinking about how it will all work out is pointless. How can I know today, the situation for tomorrow, even if I am in the role I imagine?
How can I project my life today into the future, when I don't even know what the next day, week or minute will bring my way?

   Someone once said: "Life is what happens while we are planning for the future."

   The only moment in time that I can know anything about is the one that I am living in right now, and that is the one that contains my responsibility. There is a tension in all of that, and it is not right to just sit around and see what is going to happen, but there can be a misplaced priority in trying to see ahead.

   Perhaps the correct course of action is to do the things that will give me the opportunity to react to future situations and roles in the way that God wants. Actions that will prepare me to live in the future as a servant of God, whatever the role I am given.

   The time I spend in study, prayer and being in touch with God, will prepare me for the happenings of tomorrow. I can live in the moment if I am living with God. He brings all things to pass, and I do not need to know the particulars. I just need to have Him, and be available as He leads.

   It is far easier to write these words of admonition to myself this morning, than to live them out as the day unfolds. I can't see any of the future for sure, so I pray that God will just help me live in the day that I have. Then that I will have His readiness for those circumstances as they unfold.

   Help!

God is in Control

   God is in control.

   That is easy to say, especially when things work out for the good (in our eyes). But how about when we don't understand?

   Yesterday we were in Savannah, visiting our friends who are the grandparents-to-be, while their daughter was in the process of delivering their first grand child. The daughter had been hospitalized a few days previously, because of potential problems with her own health and that of the baby, so she was already in the right place, when the doctor decided that he needed to induce labor so as to forestall any possible bad outcomes.

   The little boy was born right after noon with his cord wrapped around his neck two times, and he was not breathing. After putting the child on the respirator (I think that is the right term), everything settled down, and now he seems OK, although they will keep him in the hospital environment for a few more days, just to make sure.

   All involved could see the hand of God is this delivery, from being in the right place for the help he needed, to the successful outcome. They could say with confidence, God is in control.

   Contrast all of this with another grand parent experience that appeared on the church prayer chain the same day. A woman's seven year old grand child was injured badly in a car accident and not responding to treatment. I don't know the outcome this morning, but I would suppose that it is much harder for her to say with confidence that God is indeed in control.

   Do I believe in my heart that God is really in control and that He wants only the best for me, or do I just "believe" when times are good?

   And if I say I do believe that, is it an active believing faith or just a shoulder shrug and a "whatever" comment?

   God help me to truly believe and not just speak the right religious words.....

Dreaming

   Chambers talks today about the work of the Holy Spirit thusly:

   " When I commit myself to the revealed truth of the New Testament, I receive from God the gift of the Holy Spirit, who then begins interpreting to me what Jesus did. The Spirit of God does in me internally all that Jesus Christ did for me externally."

   I woke up this morning knowing that I had had an unusual dream. As with a lot of dreams, I realize I had one, but can't remember much of the details. It could be that they are not important, but it did remind me of a verse.

   From the Old Testament Book of Joel, verse 28 of Chapter 2, it reads:

      "After all of this 
      I will pour out my Spirit on all kinds of people. 
      Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
      Your elderly will have revelatory dreams; 
      your young men will see prophetic visions."

   In the Old Testament Joseph had dreams, Pharaoh had dreams and others too, and they all had a meaning. God used dreams to convey His messages to men, and the Spirit had a part in this.

   Why do we dream? It could be because of spicy food, but it also could be the work of the Spirit in a life. 

   Now if I could only remember the content so as to try to get the meaning.

Too Soon Old and Too Late......

   Sometimes I think that kids who grow up in Christian homes in the United States have an accidental stumbling block placed in their path when it comes to a wholehearted following of Jesus. Jesus is who they have heard about since they could understand, and they have been led to accept Him as Savior at an early age. This acceptance is based on their acknowledgment of the fact that they are sinners, that Jesus paid the price for these sins on the cross, and their acceptance of the gift of salvation through His Name. It is what they have been taught and know, and I include myself in this group.

   Chambers talks today about an adjunct to all of this:

   "The greatest spiritual blessing we receive is when we come to the knowledge that we are destitute. Until we get there, our Lord is powerless. He can do nothing for us as long as we think we are sufficient in and of ourselves. We must enter into His kingdom through the door of destitution. As long as we are "rich", particularly in the area of pride or independence, God can do nothing for us. It is only when we get hungry spiritually that we receive the Holy Spirit."

   We, and remember that I include myself when referring to this group of American Christians, most of the time, do not know what destitute is. Along with our Christian upbringing, we have also learned that "we can do it", and that self reliance and independence are virtues that we need to cultivate. We have accepted that hard work will pay off for us, and that having a good work ethic is a head start on the pathway to success.

   The question is: Have a lot of kids (and adults) who grew up in American Christian homes just been inoculated into a very shallow Christianity? This one time vaccination can do us for a lifetime, but, if left on its own, can keep one from a productive life of discipleship. It may be enough to keep us out of Hell, but it is not what Christ intended when referring to true disciples.

I confess that I am still working on understanding the whole process. Salvation is all God and my part is belief. But God wants more than just this one belief, He wants a life that gets itself out of the way so that He can work through it.

Too soon old and too late smart.

What is God Interested In?

   Chambers says today:

   "We must never allow anything to interfere with the consecration of our spiritual power. Consecration (being dedicated to God’s service) is our part; sanctification (being set apart from sin and being made holy) is God’s part. We must make a deliberate determination to be interested only in what God is interested."

   I spent some time this morning pondering what it was that God was interested in. The first word that came to my mind was "people". God is concerned with people, their joys, their sorrows, the struggles, their victories, and just their daily lives. He is concerned with whether or not they accept His sacrifice for them.

   But it is not just that He is concerned with a generic "people". He is vitally interested in each individual person, and, although it is hard to get my mind around the fact that He knows each one of 6 billion or so folks around the world, the fact is true, that He is.

   So, Chambers says that I should be concerned also, about the 6 billion people around the world, but especially those that pass through my life on a daily basis. I need to live my life in such a way, that those that I come into contact with, whether once in a lifetime, or on a regular basis, are treated with respect. My life should not be a stumbling block to another, but should point them to the truth.

   There was an old song in our hymnal years ago that said "Make me a blessing to someone today", a reminder of how the Christian life should be lived. My prayer is for God to help me to be aware of a lot of "someones" today and the tomorrows ahead.

   Not just sing a song, or write a blog, but really do it.