To Be or not to Be....

   I have been approached by a group in church leadership to consider a role at church. This group is looking at the possibility of selecting two men for this role and they have asked me to be one of four candidates for the two places. There is a questionnaire to be filled out that will lead to a personal interview, after which the final selections will be made.

   Now, I do not have any quarrel with the process, as long as the group has prayed and received this from God, at least in their minds, as to the procedure. After all the whole group of disciples cast lots to determine God's will in naming the successor to Judas as one of the twelve. The same method was used in the old testament on several occasions. Sounds a lot like drawing the short straw.

   So, now comes the questionnaire, and I have to look at my motives for filling it out. Can I do it without pushing my case for the job, providing I feel God has called me in this direction? Can I do it honestly, not trying to make me look good in the eyes of those who evaluate it? Indeed, what is my motive for filling it out in the first place? The questions mostly are concerned with my spiritual life, and God is the only one that knows the heart.

   Chambers says today: "A Christian worker has to learn how to be God's man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things."

   Is this definition me? Can I separate the chaff from my life, so that I might actually be worthy to serve where He calls? Is this process I am currently in, His calling?

   Oh what to do, what to do? 

   Since I do not have long to turn the form in, and after some prayer and soul searching, I will complete the exercise, but I will try to use it as a form of self-examination and an opportunity for God to show me more of my own heart and desires, and not as a job application.

   But I will continue to seek God's face on the whole matter of service and be willing to say no, if this is not His call.

   To be or not to be, that is the question. God help me!