Struggle with Jesus

   One bad thing about trying to read and respond to the writings of Oswald Chambers is his depth of relationship with Jesus as he writes about it. That is a great thing for him, but it is hard for me to relate to it on such a plane.

    I believe the Bible and what it says about Him:
         born of a virgin
         lived a sinless life
         died on the cross for me
         resurrected on the third day
         lives in Heaven with the Father
         lives in me through the Holy Spirit
         is coming again

    OK, I believe, and I trust Him with my salvation, but I really struggle with the personal relationship part of living with Him and for Him. Chambers seems to have no such problem, and the depth of his relationship is foreign to me.

    I have seen how He has been active in my life and circumstances. I know He has used me in some situations, and I look to Him to continue to do so, but it is more like an unseen, unfelt personage bringing circumstances into my life from afar.

    I am grateful to God for what I do have and what He has led me to believe, but I really want more. Really.....

    My prayer is for God to give me what He wants me to have and when He wants it.